3 Simple Ways to Change Your Behavior and Take Control of Your Life

The French philosopher, Henri Bergson, once said that, "To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly."

Change is unavoidable, continuous, and is occurring all the time. 

Our country changes, our city changes, our neighborhood changes, our family changes, and we as individuals change. Sometimes it may not be perceptible by someone on the outside.

But, we know ourselves better than anyone else when we have changed. 

Our political views may have changed, our attitudes may have changed, our appearances may have changed, and even our faculties may have changed.

The term change itself has an even deeper significant when it is in reference to a change in behavior that represents coming to a fork in the road and having to choose one direction or another. If you're dissatisfied with your present state and want to change, that is significant. 

If you are dissatisfied with your career; if you're dissatisfied with your marriage or other important relationships; if you're dissatisfied with your lifestyle; or if you're dissatisfied with your career; a major change may be necessary. A desire to change and a willingness to do so is essential. No one can change you or your situation. It has to begin with you. It has to begin inside.

1. Some people continue to change jobs, mate, and friends, but never think of changing themselves. Don't become that person. If you feel that you are stuck in a rut and is seriously desirous of making a change in your life, don't hesitate to seek professional help. 

If you don't have a close friend who has your best interest at heart, then find a therapist that you can trust and establish a good working relationship with that particular person. 

2. Be willing to take your therapist's recommendations seriously. Just talking about your problem will not bring about the change you need. You must be willing to do homework between the sessions and talk about your efforts and experiences when you return to the session. Most people do not change because willingness to make the effort is lacking.

3. Think about change as taking control your life. Get off of the roller coaster ride where you are allowing others to affect your emotional level by what they say or do. It is about making the decision to become that person you want to be, to begin taking the necessary steps in that direction, and to resolve to continue to grow the rest of your life

 
You may also like Take Control of Your Life with Lifestyle Changes. Let me know your thoughts. Leave your comments below.

10 No Nonsense Strategies to Easily Manage Your Time Effectively

When you manage something, you direct or control the use of it. Although you cannot direct time, you can certainly control your use of it.

All of us have the same amount of time, but how we use it, has a significant effect on the success we experience in life.

Time management does not involve any secret principles.

Rather, it involves setting priorities, organizing your life according to those priorities, making a commitment to keeping them, and enjoying the journey along the way with less stress and more accomplishments.

Here are the 10 simple and easy time management strategies.

1. Do it immediately. If a task can be completed in less than a minute, do it on the spot. So instead of putting the glasses and dishes in the sink and walking away, Wash them right away. Get it over with.

2. Organize your documents. Learn how to organize your documents and photos on your home or work computer. Consider the many free photo organizing applications and the organizing features in your word processing applications and use one or more of them.

3. Purge your email of all unnecessary messages. Get serious about it.

4. Organize your bookmarks. Determine the categories that are important to you and set them up.

5. Count to ten when you feel snowed under by clutter and general disorder, Just putting things back in their rightful place including the trash can. And always have a bag ready for thrift store donations.

6. Organize and file your junk email. Establish at least two new email accounts. Use one for all the retail and internet, promotions you want to receive, and for your shopping. The other email account should be for your relatives, friends, and urgent emails. Visited these accounts twice a day and dispatch everything you don’t want to save into the recycle bin.

7. Cook more rice than you need for your today’s meal. Use leftovers for spanish rice, fried rice, red beans and rice, or other good rice recipes.

8. Organize your bookshelves. You may find a favorite book that you just totally forgot to read or that you can benefit from rereading. Others you may just decide to donate.

9. Recycle instantly. Keep waste baskets in strategic spots around your home, and deposit junk mail, and unwanted catalogs in them. Buy a shredder and remember to shred anything with sensitive information.

10. And, finally, start your day smart. Begin your day with a healthy and delicious breakfast. Consider oatmeal, fruit, and raisin toast, an omelet, grits, and wheat toast, a raisin toast sandwich of your choice of jam and cream cheese and a piece of fruit. Or if you prefer something even lighter, how about raisin toast, and cottage cheese with fruit. Reduce or eliminate the amount of meat you eat for breakfast. You’ll then be more alert and have more energy.


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6 Ways to Keep Your Attitude Positive and Control Your Destiny

The dictionary defines attitude as a state of 
mind or feeling with regard to some matter, 
a disposition. 

Here I am suggesting that your consistent 
state of mind should be positive. 

The philosopher and psychologist, William 
James once said that "the greatest discovery 
of my generation is that man can alter his 
life simply by altering his attitude of mind." 

With this in thought mind, here are 6 Ways 
      to Keep Your Attitude Positive:

1. Stretch your feeling capacity. Feelings are at the heart of life. Yet most of us lack the vocabulary to distinguish and describe the subtle nuances of our experiences.

Shades of love include affection, tenderness, admiration, liking, attraction, caring. We may hate, despise, dislike, or feel indifferent. Attraction may take the form of desire, longing, craving, or coveting.  

Hope leads us to anticipate, trust, rely, feel confident. Despair may take the form of desperation, despondency, doubt, suspicion, discouragement, disappointment, defeat, helplessness. Feel good about yourself. Value what you are and what you have.

2.  Next time you feel frightened, try to pinpoint the exact color and intensity of your emotion. Are you Anxious? Apprehensive? Panicky? Scared stiff? Terrified? Aroused? Exhilarated? Worried? Troubled? Disquieted? Uneasy? Appalled? Timid? Alarmed? Petrified? Jumpy? 

As you expand your feeling-word vocabulary, you may be surprised to discover a new depth and richness in your experiences.

3.   Associate with optimistic, successful people. Talk about your good spirits and expectations, because that kind of thinking is contagious. Let your fears rest in  peace. Life  presents us all with an array of problems, many of which we have little or no control over. Don't be obsessed with what might happen. 

4.   Look for the silver linings. Choose to be positive. Every coin has two sides; every experience both a cost and a benefit; every life, an up side and a down side. Consider your spiritual side. Trust in yourself. Trust in your life. Saying, " everything will work out OK in the end," is phony only if you do nothing to help it work out. Laugh rather than complain. Play "ain't it funny" rather than "ain't it awful." Pop mental bubbles with humor.

5.   Practice the attitude of gratitude. To a great extent our attitude determines the kinds of feelings we experience. A cynical, fearful, negative attitude will fill us with negative experience. A positive, hopeful, open attitude will fill us with warmth. 

6.   In your conversations use positive, encouraging words. Concentrate on upbeat adjectives and adverbs; use action verbs. Practice positive speech from morning to night.


What do you think of these 6 Ways. Leave your comments below. 

8 Ways to Know If You Are Goal Directed

A person going nowhere can be sure of reaching his destination. Don't go nowhere. Your success improves when you set goals that are specific, short-term, and challenging. 

The big goal is not a measure of your present status. Rather, it is a target -- something you mean to ultimately realize. 

What you need to focus on are smaller, short range goals which are just beyond your current ability but still within the range of present possibility.

Set Supportive Goals
Your goals should be very supportive and satisfying as they will help you build your winning streak and a foundation for successful activity. 

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that our aim is too low and we reach it. Moreover, make your commitments in bite size chunks. A house is built one brick at a time. An artist paints one stroke at a time. And, you also should work in small increments.

Set Challenging Goals
Besides setting supportive and satisfying goals, set challenging goals. Strong interest and involvement in activities are sparked by challenges. Easy to reach goals spark little interest or effort. However, unrealistically high goals can bring failure and diminished self-confidence.

It is also important that your goals are concerns that you want to accomplish and not what you want to avoid. Researchers have found that the choice of avoidant goals is associated with poor performance and distress. 

Here then are the 8 Ways to Know if You are Goal Directed:

1. Do you set long-term and short-term goals?.
2. Do you set challenging goals that are neither too easy or beyond your reach?.
3. Are you good at managing your time and setting priorities to make sure you get the most important things done?.
4. Do you regularly make to-do lists and successfully get things done?.
5. Do you set guidelines and consistently meet them?
6. Do you regularly monitor how well you are progressing towards your goals and make changes in your behavior if necessary?
7. When you're under pressure, do you still plan your day and weeks in a clear and logical manner?
8. Do you set task-involved, mastery goals rather than self-centered or work-avoidant goals?

If most of the descriptions characterize you, than you are likely to be a goal-directed individual. If these statements do not characterize you, then consider ways that you can become more goal-directed.

Planning how to reach your goal and monitoring progress towards your goal are critical aspects of your achievement. 

Researchers have also found that high achieving individuals monitor their own learning and systematically evaluate their progress toward their goals more than low-prescription achieving individuals.

Have you been to a motivational speech, gotten charged up and then felt disappointed afterwards? The key is to try and see if you can internalize it and make it personal through goal formulation.

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What You Need to Know About Depression

The blues is a temporary and usually normal reaction to stressful life situations. Most cases don't involve physical symptoms, loss of self-esteem, or suicidal thoughts, and the negative state usually passes within a few hours or days.

Depression on the other hand, is an intense, pervasive and long-lasting disorder of mood that attacks the body as well as the mind, often resulting in serious problems in work, social, and physical functioning. 

Unfortunately, some people don't recognize depression for the serious illness it is. They think of it as a personality flaw, a sign of weakness or a character defect.

To go further in depth, depression occurs in at least three different dynamics. 

People in the first dynamic are chronically depressed. Depression is built into them and may be passed from generation to generation.

The second dynamic concerns lasting grief that occurs after a severe loss. Its severity is entirely subjective but might occur with the loss of a child, spouse, or loved one, an amputation, mastectomy, a sizable career setback, or loss of functioning brought about by disease or trauma.

The third dynamic involves loss accompanied by anger. People who have unresolved issues with a departed loved one often do not know that they are angry. This despair can set in after messy divorces or after a close relative or friend passes away. Since they are not able to deal with these problems by interacting with the object of their anger, they take their antagonism out on themselves instead.

Loss is the common element in all three dynamics. It could be a loss of time, an object, an idealization of an object, or a person.

Symptoms of depression often include disturbances with sleep, appetite and body weight, energy, concentration, and sexual functioning. There is frequently excessive guilt, feelings of worthlessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, and, in severe cases, thoughts of or attempts at suicide.

Some depressions are the result of a chemical imbalance and may only be treated by anti-depressant medication, some require psychotherapy, and still others a combination of methods.

Those with chronic depression can't be helped except by antidepressants. In these cases, psychotherapy may be of little help and a poor use of time and money. Time helps a person who has suffered a severe loss as well as an involved other person who listens to the aggrieved as he or she gives words to the pain. This does not necessarily have to be a therapist, but if there is not a strong support system, treatment is very necessary. 

Finally, only a strong guide can help people whose loss is accompanied with anger move toward slow recognition and safe expression of their real feelings. This is usually the only path out of melancholy.

The good news is that more than eighty percent of depression sufferers can be treated successfully. If you or someone you care about is depressed, seek help now by contacting a qualified mental health specialist.

Quick Guide to Managing Your Anger

Anger is a destructive emotion even though it's a very common experience. 

Everyone gets angry at some time or another. Although some people have learned such self-control that they won't show their feelings, rest assured that their close friends, relatives, and especially their doctor know that they are angry. 

It can show up in migraine headaches, ulcers, skin problems, allergies, and even sexual problems. While these problems are not always or even most always related to angry feelings, there is a relationship between feelings and physical well-being.

Anger is an amalgamation of many negative feelings and both can and should be expressed in a constructive, healthy way. It is, therefore, necessary to learn how to manage anger and act in appropriately assertive, but not an aggressive way.

Assertive or Angry
Now, a distinction needs to be made between being assertive and being aggressive. Being assertive means letting others know what you feel in a way that doesn't put anybody else down. Whereas, aggressive behavior is always at the expense of somebody else. You will get your way, but you will step on somebody else to do it.

Common situations that provide great opportunity for practicing assertiveness include returning faulty merchandise to a store; asking a neighbor to quiet down, starting a conversation with a stranger, giving a speech in public, or asking someone for a favor.

In contrast to this, aggressiveness is demonstrated by you believing that you have to be right or have the right to be the winner, thus, you find yourself attacking the other person. If you always must have your way at the expense of the other person, as I mentioned earlier, you will get it, but, your relationships will deteriorate, others will reject you, and you will find yourself suffering from a negative self-concept and poor self-acceptance.

Managing Anger

So, to manage anger, begin with the knowledge that anger can be controlled and resolved. You must cease placing demands on yourself and others through shoulds, oughts, and musts. Often anger specifically entails a should. "You should have known better." "You should not have given the car keys to your brother. " The more shoulds and should nots - the angrier you will be. Increase your overall level of happiness. 

Happiness is not like height. You just don't get a certain amount of it and have to live with it. Learn to let go of the unimportant anger triggers. Realize that your anger will hurt you more than the target of your ire. Learn to express justified anger in an assertive and not in an aggressive way. 

And, keep in mind that the fewer shoulds, oughts, or musts you have, the happier you and all those who associate with you will be. Call (773) 614-3201 if you need help. 

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5 Great Success Habits You Need to Have

Let's agree that we first make our habits and then our habits make us. 

From a psychological point of view, habits are well learned responses that are performed automatically in response to some stimulus, often unrecognized by the performer.

If you had to stop and think about anything, it's not a habit.For example, most of us have acquired the habit of using the mouse for navigating the internet, using a word processor, reading, composing e-mails, and so on.

Nevertheless, using the mouse for these tasks and other related tasks are much less efficient and productive than using the keyboard. Once you begin using the keyboard, you'll quickly realize a more effective use of your time and increased productivity.

If you are skilled in using the keyboard, you cannot tell without stopping to move your fingers which finger is used to type "k" or "r". Your typing has become a string of habits too fast for thought but highly desirable for efficiency.

In that you are likely using Windows, here are some simple Microsoft Windows keyboard shortcuts you can be using now: Windows key + D (Desktop to Foreground); F2 (renames a selected file or folder); Context Menu (Right Click); Alt + underlined letter (Menu drop down, Action selection); Alt + Tab (Toggle between open applications); Alt, F +X or Alt +F4 (Exit application); Alt, Spacebar + X (Maximize Window); Alt, Spacebar + N (Minimize Window); Ctrl + W (Closes Window); F2 (Renames a selected file or folder). Getting the keyboard habit is the key to productivity.

It is easier to form good habits than to change bad ones. However, forming new habits requires a daily commitment. Here are some additional good habits that can add to your success That as an independent consultant I have found to be useful:

1. Read consistently at least 15 minutes a day in your chosen field. It doesn't matter whether they are books, articles, or reports.

2. Get to the bottom of the subject or issue to understand the pros and cons and arguments for and against it. The habit of getting to the bottom of things, usually land you on top.

3. Clear your desk at the end of the day. A cluttered desk at the beginning of your day, makes for a confused start and detracts from a sense of focus.

4. Identify six items that can be accomplished by the end of your day, write them down and make a sincere effort to complete all six.

5. Get some file crates. Put them next to your desk and place, in them, the files you are working on for easy access.

Habits are either your best servants or your worst of masters. Make your habits your best servants.

Are your habits your best servants? Leave your comments below.

 

Secrets to Mastering the Vocabulary of any Field you Choose

Stop for a moment and do some self-assessment. What is your situation in life? What is your occupation? What are your hobbies? Who are your favorite associates?

Then ask what bearing each of these facts has on the language you speak, write, and read. Each of these pursuits, and every activity you indulge in, has a vocabulary of its own. And one of the best ways to become truly word- conscious and to make a list of words used in each of these activities.

Don’t burden yourself with too much of the apparatus of the formal dictionary – – abbreviations, principal parts of the verbs and the like. For your purpose, a simple list of interesting words and their definitions, a glossary, is all you need. Then compare your list with those your friends make up and combine them all into one master list of your very own language

Here is an example. I have an interest in Search Engine Optimization, so here are some words that I have learned that reflects this interest:

SEM: Stands for Search Engine Marketing, and as the name implies it involves marketing services or products via search engines. SEM is divided into two main pillars: SEO and PPC. SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization, and it is the practice of optimizing websites to make their pages appear in the organic search results. PPC stands for Pay-Per-Click, and it is the practice of purchasing clicks from search engines. The clicks come from sponsored listings in the search results.

Backlink: Also called inlink or simply link, it is an hyperlink on another website pointing back to your own website. Backlinks are important for SEO because they affect directly the PageRank of any web page, influencing its search rankings.

PageRank: PageRank is an algorithm that Google uses to estimate the relative important of pages around the web. The basic idea behind the algorithm is the fact that a link from page A to page B can be seen as a vote of trust from page A to page B. The higher the number of links (weighted to their value) to a page, therefore, the higher the probability that such page is important

Anchor text: The anchor text of a backlink is the text that is clickable on the web page. Having keyword rich anchor texts help with SEO because Google will associate these keywords with the content of your website. If you have a weight loss blog, for instance, it would help your searchrankings if some of your backlinks had "weight loss" as their anchor text.

Title Tag: The title tag is literally the title of a web page, and it's one of the most important factors inside Google's search algorithm. Ideally your title tag should be unique and contain the main keywords of your page. You can see the title tag of any web page on top of the browser while navigating it.

Meta Tags: Like the title tag, meta tags are used to give search engines more information regarding the content of your pages. The meta tags are placed inside the HEAD section of your HTML code, and thus are not visible to human visitors.

SERP: Stands for Search Engine Results Page. It's basically the page you'll get when you search for a specific keyword on Google or on other search engines. The amount of search traffic your website will receive depends on the rankings it will have inside the SERP5.

Keyword Density: To find the keyword density of any particular page you just need to divide the number of times that keyword is used by the total number of words in the page. Keyword density used to be an important SEO factor, as the early algorithms placed a heavy emphasis on it. This is not the case anymore.

Web Crawler: Also called search bot or spider, it's a computer program that browses the web on behalf of search engines, trying to discover new links and new pages. This is the first step on the indexation process.

Canonical URL: Canonicalization is a process for converting data that has more than one possible representation into a "standard" canonical representation. A canonical URL, therefore, is the standard URL for accessing a specific page within your website. For instance, the canonical version of your domain might be http://www.street.com instead of http://street.com.


Get the picture?

Leave your comments below.

Learn the 10 Business Success Attributes

In my article, "For Personal Development and Productivity - Start with Managing Your Time",  I discussed the three culprits that destroy personal development and productivity efforts. 

Here I will reveal the 10 Business Success Attributes and ask that you will score one for each attribute that you possess. 

Managing your time is one of them, but all are equally important:

___ Strong-Willed Survivor           ___ Opportunity Seeker
___ Fluent Communicator            ___ Information Gatherer
___ Methodical Planner                ___ Astute Money-Handler
___ Disciplined Action-Taker         ___ Self-Motivator
___ Personable People-Mover      ___ Precise Time Manager

A score of 8 or more means that you can be reasonably confident that you are a good candidate for starting and succeeding in your own business. 

Read my article on 10 Strategies for Managing Your Time Effectively after completing this.


What do you think of these 8 attributes? Leave your comments below.

Is There a Difference Between Counseling or Therapy?

Counseling zeros in on real world, everyday problems which include such concerns as "I'm facing foreclosure. What should I do?" "My son is hanging out with the wrong crowd. What should I do?" "My boss is too demanding. What should I do?" "I think my husband is having an affair. What should I do?

Therapy is another option. It has the goal of helping you to develop competencies to deal with the world in which you live. It is not about telling you how to live. But, it will offer options to you that extend beyond your worldview and will result in a disruption of your usual, rigid, thinking patterns. 

These patterns are those which have created the stress you are experiencing and have limited your spontaneity and creativity.

The types of questions therapy tend to deal with are associated with thoughts, moods, and actions. When you have such concerns as: You feel as if you can't go it alone. You feel boxed in and as if there is nowhere else to turn. You are constantly worrying and never seem to find a solution. 
Moreover, it is affecting your sleep, eating, employment, and relationships. And, you have tried to change, but you are just not experiencing any improvement.

Effective therapy will engage you in an active educational process. It will go far beyond conversational therapy and actively guide, coach, model, and teach you how to solve problems, feel better, relate better, and achieve goals. Problems are solved when you make a determined effort to solve them. 

If you continue to feel, act, and think in a certain way, chances are you are choosing that way when you could actually find out how to change and, with help, make the special effort to change. 

I hope that this clarifies what I believe is a real distinction that has to be made. Let me know what you think. Need immediate help? Call (773) 614-3201. 

Leave your comments below.

My 10 Favorite Self-Improvement Books

I recently read an article by a famous author who listed ten of his favorite self-improvement books. 

While I was reading the article, I realized that as an  independent consultant who believes in self-improvement and personal growth, 
I had read several of those books many years ago. 

I found them to be interesting and useful, but then moved on to more recent authors.

Here are my 10 favorites:
1. The Winners’ Brain, Jeff Brown and Mark Fenske
2. Eight Keys to Greatness, Gene M. Landrum
3. Attaining Personal Greatness, Melanie Brown
4. The Greatest Discovery, Earl Nightingale
5. Changing Minds, Howard Gardner
6. Quantum Learning, Bobbi DePorter with Mike Hernacki
7. The Art of Systems Thinking, Joseph O’Connor and  Ian McDermott
8. Practical Intelligence, Roger Peters
9. The Power of Mindful Learning, Ellen J. Langer
10. Mind Set, James Naisbitt

I hope you will take an opportunity to read several or all of these books. I believe they will benefit you in your self-improvement as they have done for me.

What do you think of these books? And, what are your ten favorites?